Monday, October 18, 2010

Happy Marriage???

Good Morning,

This blog is dedicated to my friend Sharon. Each morning we speak via email, text or telephone just to say hello and catch up on the events of the day/night before. She inspires me all the time. She is going to get me fired if she doesn't stop sending me emails that make me laugh out loud and telephone conversations that have me crying with laughter.

We love to pose mind blowing, make you think questions to each other on a daily basis. This morning she asked if I knew of any "happy marriages"?? She has asked this question more than once to me. Like always, I ask her to define "happy marriage". Of course we all know this term could have several different definitions. Her definition today was a marriage where people were happy to just be with each other. Happy to touch, talk, and enjoy the company of their mate. Not just in it because they are in it. She heard someone say they had been married for over 25 years, and she posed the question that she had never seen this person touch his wife in public. No hand on the shoulder, no hug or even a loving look her way. I stated that he said they had been married for over 25 years, not they have been "happily married" for 25 years. There is a BIG difference.

I myself have never been married nor have I been asked. I have been in two long term committed relationships that didn't end in marriage. Today I look back at those relationships and realize that at the time I was happy, they weren't. That's when I asked why me folks??? Why didn't the relationships work for me, and did for another woman. (Both men are married now, happy?? don't know). Why was I not the one that ended up as the wife??? I have learned that as time goes by, marriage, happy or not, isn't for everyone. It was their time and not mine.

I love the idea of marriage and all that it encompasses. I love the idea that someone believes that they want to spend the rest of their life as your mate. They see a future with you and love what the future holds for the both of you.

In marriage, you make it what you want and need it to be. The first 10 years of my life, I grew up in a household with two parents that didn't fight or argue in front of me. My mom did what moms do and my dad did what dads did (in my youthful mind). I defined their marriage as happy. I was provided a loving and nurturing environment, getting 3 meals a day, clothes clean, watching tv, playing outside, etc..... so I was happy therefore I thought my parents were happy. As of today, I haven't been told anything different. why me folks question today is: If you are married, are you happily married? Do you want to be happily married or just married??? If you are not married, how high is being happy on your list???

Thanks Sharon for today's message.

Why me folks? Why not??


1 comment:

  1. Happiness is high on my list of priorities. I am not foolish enough to think that everyday will be bliss but every day in purgatory on earth is a deal breaker. And I don't want a happy medium. My good days must outweigh the bad days.

    I must note that pre-marital counseling is an excellent investment. There is a lot of stuff that you can learn during the courtship. Pay attention ladies.