Another year younger

I celebrated by 43rd birthday on September 4. For the first time that I can remember in my adult life, someone thought enough about me to throw me a birthday party. I had a great time surrounded by family, friends old and new.

My son celebrated his 13th birthday two days before me. I tried to celebrate big with him. He only wanted Playstation 3, Zaxby's, his friends shut up in his bedroom and for me to leave them alone. He is a teenager, what more could I expect.

I say another year younger and not older because each year, each month, each week, each day, I continually learn something new. As the saying goes, "you can't teach an old dog new tricks", since I learn a new "trick" all the time, I am not old and definitely not a dog...lol

My why me question??? Can you celebrate every day as if it was your birthday???? I challenge you to do so.

Why me? Why not???

Smoochies

Miss me? Miss U?

I haven't been blogging for over a month, my schedule has gotten away with me. I have been focused on so many projects, that I can't keep track. Some blame it on my age and memory, but the devil is a lie and I bind that foolishness up. I am 42 and proud, so I am not old, not by anyone's means (this doesn't include the views of my son)...lol.

This blog has been very good for me and I hope good for the few that have read it. There have been a lot of positive changes in my life and I am just enjoying the ride. I give a shout out to the man in my life for teaching me how to love again. (Hey U). I also give him praise for showing me that God is still God, no matter how much I question what's going in. You are one of my best friends!!!

I have so busy that I have not taken the time out to reach out to my friends. For that I apologize wholeheartedly. I know that I try and reach out to you at least once a month for those in SC. I was visiting last weekend and was only able to spend time with two of my gurls. I promise to do better. With my birthday coming up in September, I am trying to do something in SC and in GA. Just want to let you know I love you and appreciate you.

My why me question? Do we ever just stop and take a moment to say hi to those that mean so much to us.

Why me? Why not???

Smoochies

What a man wants, what a man needs????

Do we as women really care??? Honestly, we say we want so much and need so much from men, but do we actually take in to consideration the wants and needs of our men???

What would a man says he really wants? What he really needs? Here's what I think a man wants:

SEX & FOOD, That's about it.....lol

What a man needs:

Support, Love, Understanding, Friendship, Comfort, God, Companionship, Authority, Goals, Sense of Fulfillment, Joy, to Cry, A wife, Kids.......

A woman that can stand by them to provide all the above, including the wants.

If you have a man in your life, be it husband, son, companion, father, simply ask them their wants and needs. We can't read their minds, nor should we try.

Why me? Why not??

Smoochies

Why me??? Why not???

Am I in love or in desperate need of a companion???? I have been dating for a long time and I am just starting to wonder why I even bother. It is getting harder day by day to be with someone of the opposite sex that I find interesting...so what's the point???

Recently, someone I have known for years decided to tell me that he has been admiring for 3 years and decided that this was the year to ask me out. I was shocked and later upset that for 3 years he liked me and wanted to take our friendship to another level, and kept this to himself. I began to wonder where we would be if he would have spoken up 3 years ago. I guess I will never know.

Since his confession, we have spent a great deal of time together and I am beginning to understand just why I like dating. It lets me be me and explore the possibilities of spending time with someone that likes me and wants to know me better. By being friends with him for so long there hasn't been one awkward moment.

So if you have given up on dating....don't!!! Hang in there!!! I am having the best time ever.

Why me?? Why not??

Smoochies

You can go home again!!!!

This weekend I had several events to attend in my hometown. I enjoyed myself more than I could ever imagine.

I have never laughed so hard and realized how much I missed my friends and family back home until this weekend.

I enjoyed an old fashioned front yard bbq birthday party, church when the air is not working and making a close friends day by just stopping by unannounced.

I haven't been home in awhile but decided since I was there, I would see as many of my friends and family that I could. Shouts out to my hostess and my ride or die chick for sticking it out with me the entire time. Love you soooooooooo much. She has been with me since diapers. My other diaper buddy could not make the birthday party, but surprised us by being at another friend's house when we made a surprise drive by!!!!!!!!!!!

So no matter what happens, what people say or think about you, you can go home again!!! If you don't have a home you can come and visit mine in Wagener SC. Small community with BIG hearted folks.

My why me folks question? When's the last time you went home and really enjoyed yourself??

Why me? Why not?

Smoochies

OMG!!!! I've been unfriended on Facebook.....

A few weeks ago a co-worker of mine was unfriended on Facebook by a high school friend of hers. This really upset her. So much that she called the "unfriend" and had a 30 minute conversation as to why she did it and why she should "refriend" her. Really!!!!???? Talking with her she explained that she didn't know what she did and after the talk, she felt much better. She never was "refriended".

Last week, I was unfriended on Facebook by a childhood friend of mine. I told my co-worker and she asked what was I gonna do. I said nothing, and she was shocked. Her response was "Why??" Aren't you at least curious or concerned why it happened??? My response to her was "Hmmm...not really". Just thinking about that made me write this blog.

Is it really heartbreaking and just life altering to be unfriended on Facebook??? I guess for some it is. For me, I have learned in my 42 years of living that friends, good, bad or whatever the meaning come and go. I haven't lost a friendship that I have regretted.... ever. Either I dropped them for a damn good reason or they dropped me for their reason. What I can say is when one goes, another one comes along better than the first.

My advice to my co-worker and to others that have been unfriended on Facebook.....SO WHAT!!! Let it go...Trust me it's not that serious. Accept the unfriending and move on!!! Someone better will come along. If not, embrace the remaining friends you have.

As for me, I am my own best friend.

Why me question? Define a friend

Why me?? Why not???

Smoochies.

Why is who I sleep with any of your business???

Recently, Barbara Walters interviewed Sir Elton John and his partner regarding their new baby. Later that week, a local radio station posted the question: Can gay/lesbian parents raise a straight child.

I found this to be very appalling. Why is this news worth??? Why do we as a society care if a gay/lesbian couple have a child, or even adopt a child???? Is this suppose to be just morally wrong because of their sexual preference??? It seems we concentrate more on the sexual preference of the couple rather than just two loving people wanting to have children.

What about asking the questions can a heterosexual couple raise a straight child??? Can they raise a child that doesn't turn out to be a criminal??? Can they raise a child with a disability???

We as a society need to stop focusing on who's sleeping with who, because that's what it actually boils down to. It's not the parenting of a child, which is a valid concern, it's who's the parent and their sexual lifestyle.

Gimme a break!!!

Why me folks question??? It this really an issue because of a real concern or because the media makes it a concern????

Why me?? Why not?

Smoochies

Are today's women too much for yesterday's men??

Yesterday I was speaking with two guy friends of mine. One is married, one is single and dating. In the midst of our conversation about dating, my married friend says that if he was single in today's society, he wouldn't make it. He couldn't even try and date the women of today. I was shocked to hear him say that. I didn't know what he meant by his comment. He went on to say that women are nothing like when he was in his 20's and 30's. It's not even about them being independent, he can deal with that. It's the demands and criteria.

I also have a married girlfriend that made the same comment a few weeks ago. She also stated that it's more of a business to date someone, than just out to have fun and see where the relationship may leave.

Why me folks question? Are we as women really that hard on men???

I myself don't think so. I enjoy going out and meeting new people. I enjoy that men and women have certain standards. Everyone is not going to like them, but then again, they aren't meant for everyone.

As the years of dating progress, so do the standards. What is good for one, may not be good for another. We just have to continue meeting new and exciting people until the "ONE" meets us.

So here's my advice to all of those that are dating in 2011: Suck it up!!!! Either you're gonna get and stay in the dating race and find true love that will last until you take your last breath or you're gonna let the dating world pass you by and remain alone with your cats....lol (no offense to cat lovers).

Why me? Why not??

Smoochies

Are you a help or a nuance???

For several months I have tried to assist family members in bettering their situations. Whether it be personal, financial, spiritual, socially or mentally, I cannot seen to get through.

Why me question? How do you help someone that doesn't think they need help?????

I never want to see a family member live below their potential. I also don't ever want them to say they never accomplished anything because no one helped them. I have been told that I am bossy and if things don't go my way, I get bossier. I agree to some degree. If you ask for my help, and I assist you, then ask if you have completed the task and you say "I'm getting to it", that's not nagging you, it's simply, in my opinion, holding you to your word and keeping you responsible for your actions.

I have several family members that I know can do and need to do better than they are. My friends say that I have too high of an expectation. I don't agree. Especially when the family member is young. This is the perfect time for them to start correcting any mistakes they are making in order not to drag the mistakes into their adult lives (baggage!!!!).

Am I really helping the situation by staying on them or being a nuance by checking them when they began, again in my opinion, slacking off.

Example, my 16 year old nephew wants a job. He really needs a job. He does not extra curricular activities and his grades aren't the best. He came to me for help. I gave him several leads, even sent him to work with my daughter. Did he follow the leads....NO! Did he get up to go to work with my daughter....NO! Then he ask why I won't give him money.... I thought I was going beyond my call of duty by assisting him in getting a job. Like so many other young people, he expects a hand out. Why????????????

This is getting long and I have so many other examples about my family, as I am sure you have some about your own.

All I can say is I am here when needed!!!

Why me? Why not??

Smoochies

Spring Break

I am taking this week off to enjoy my freedom from the kids.

You should take a break also.

Blog ya next week.

Smoochies

Last night I cried.....

My eyes saw
My ears heard
They sent a message to my spirit, that told my soul
It sent a jolt to my heart, that alerted my brain that it was ok

So I cried......

Why me question? When was the last time you cried with a purpose???

Why me? Why not???

Be blessed in all you do and say!!!!

Smoochies

Truth tellers

I have a very good gurlfriend (yes I know the word is misspelled), that has taught me a lot about being true to myself over the years. She has taken the time to know me, I mean everything about me and is not afraid to correct me when I am wrong and to tell me the truth, no matter what the outcome. That's her definition of a "truth teller". She believes that everyone should have one.

Her definition of truth teller is a true friend that no matter what tells you the truth. They tell you about a terrible outfit (very important), bad hair style, pissy attitude, even a booger in your nose (that everyone has seen), etc.... but most importantly they love you thru it all.

I have noticed that as we get older, our circle of friends began to decrease. I take this as we begin to understand we need more truth tellers and less fakes in our lives. We need to be surrounded by positive people that hold us up and keep us humble. People that take us for all that we all and don't mind keeping us in line. People that aren't so sensitive when we become their truth tellers.

Why me question? Have you realized that comments you make now to certain people are so sensitive to them, that a argument ensues??? Even over the simplest things???? When did that begin.

Over the past few weeks, I have been a truth teller to some of my good friends. They know me and know that I don't make comments to hurt their feelings, just answering questions that were asked of me honestly and openly. Where is the crime or harm in that??? Stop being so sensitive to matters that don't mean jack when it's comments supposedly made by a friend. It's much easier to just tell your truth teller how you feel and go from there. If you can't hear the truth from a friend, then maybe they aren't your friend. Revisit your definition of a friend.

I love and respect the truth tellers in my life. I have a thick skin and it's take a lot for me to be offended. Thank you for keeping it real. I wouldn't have it any other way.

Why me? Why not?

Smoochies

Weighing In

I have a love hate relationship with my scale. Ugh!!!! I can't stand him (hint, hint). Me and my co-workers decided to start losing weight the beginning of the year and pay a $1 for each pound gained. The pot is growing and growing, much like my hips..lol.

I walked on Saturday 5 miles at Stone Mountain park. Gained 2 pounds. Ridiculous. How do you exercise and gain weight??? It may have been the big breakfast before and after the walk, but I don't believe that. It's the scale in my bathroom. Each morning it taunts me and makes me get on, only to be disappointed with the numbers.

I have tried every diet known to woman and developed by man, and nothing works long term. This year is my 25th high school class reunion and I need to be at my finest when I meet my fellow classmates. My scale has other plans for me. We go back and forth like and old married couple, I try to lose the weight, he tells me I haven't lost a thang....again UGH!!!!

Some may say to just stay off the scale, but it's like my drug of choice. I need instant gratification after eating a healthy meal or exercising for at least 30 minutes. I know, that change doesn't come that quick, but tell that to my hips and thighs. I have also been told that muscle weighs more than fat....who the heck came up with that foolishness. Anywho, I can look like I weigh 1 lb to everyone, but if I get on the scale and it says I weigh 2 lbs, I will tend to believe the scale. Sad, scary, but true.

Help me!!! I need McDonald's to stop make the Filet o' fish and Lay's to stop making the plain potato chips ( I need a bag now) The potato like the scale is my friend and enemy!!!

As I am writing this, a co-worker just bought me a piece of cheesecake from The Cheesecake Factory: 30th Anniversary Chocolate Cheesecake to be exact. Gonna enough the heck out of it and think about the scale later.

Why me, why not??

Smoochies

Pet Peeve #2 Whining, Bi*ching, Moaning!!

Good Morning,

Why me folks question? Why do I always seem to attract people that feel I am their psychologist???

I have an associate that believes he is the end all to be all when it comes to intelligence, education and women. He has all the answers to the questions before you ask them. If your opinion or comment is different than his, you are wrong are basically uneducated on the issue. Know anyone like that??? I bet you can name a few.

Here's my pet peeve: Why do you have such big ideas of what you're going to do and always state how you're going to do them and how it's gonna benefit you in the long run, but (wait for it), you never do anything. You are a bunch of talk. (sound familiar). I can not stand someone like that, nor have any respect for what you are saying.

I truly believe that we all have a purpose and we are have expectations. When we don't act on them, is when we begin to lose our blessing that God has for us. Why talk, talk, talk and not do anything. Not one thing. Straight procrastinating.

Here's where the whining, bi*ching and moaning come in. You talk a great game, do nothing to act upon it, then whine, bi*ch, and moan when nothing goes your way. Let's give an example:

You have been saying you're gonna start your own business for the past 2 years, but have once to take the first step in getting your business started. Then have the nerve to whine and moan about how bad your job is and you can't wait when you don't have to work for anyone else. Really?????

You come to me talking about the job and what you're gonna do when you own your own business. I listen, then ask what are you waiting for?? You begin to run off a list of reasons (excuses in my opinion) as to why you haven't started. Uggghh!!!
Just do it already!!!!

Why me?? Why not??

Smoochies

I am at Peace with Me

My why me folks question? Have you finally made peace with whatever has been bothering you from last year???

I have. It has taken two months for me to finally say " I am done". I accept the situation and I am at peace with it.

Really think about the question and let me know your thoughts.

Why me? Why not?

Smoochies

Just wanted to share...Enjoy your day!!!

Daily Devotional

How Do You Love?

By Tanya S. James
This week's topic: A Love For God's People

How do you love someone that continues to go down destructive paths no matter how much guidance you try to offer?

How do you love someone that always points out the negative but never seems to see the positive?

How do you love that boss that always takes the credit for the successes, but points their fingers anytime something fails?

How do you love that neighbor who refuses to monitor their children’s behavior and allows them to wreck havoc on the entire neighborhood?

How do you love that family member or friend that is always asking for a hand-out but is always unavailable if you need assistance?

How do you love that mean usher that refuses to smile or be polite at church?

How do you love your ex-husband or wife who refuses to make the children a priority?

How do you love that parent that was completely absent from your life as a child?

God gives the answer to these and every other, “How do you love …?” question in John 15:12. Simply put God says, “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.”

Whoa, do you know what this means?

It means you can’t keep count of the times they let you down. You can’t constantly remind them of what they’ve done. You can’t attach conditions to your love. You can’t withhold your forgiveness towards them.

Love is not passive, it’s an action word. It won’t always be easy to love but God commands it, therefore we must try to show the love of God to everyone we come in contact with even if we don’t think they deserve it.

So yes, I know that woman at the checkout counter was just very rude to you … love her anyway!

Scripture Of The Day: “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another." - John 13:34 (NIV)

Tanya S. James is founder and CEO of The Master Plan, an artist management firm and the author of From Promiscuity to Proverbs 31: Getting Off the Fence of Sexual Immorality (http://www.armedanddangerous.biz). You can also read her inspirational blog at http://www.mycoffeemoments.com.…

Happy Valentine's Day!!!

Ok Ok Ok, I know that I am a day late in writing my blog and wishing everyone a Happy Love Day!!!

Just for the record, you don't have to be boo'ed up to enjoy this day. I spent the weekend with close girlfriends, bought lunch for my lunch partners and treated the ladies in my office to sweet treats.

I haven't had a boo in about 2 years and I am doing fine!!!! Yeah right!!! No really!!! Who am I kidding!!! I want a boo!!!!!

Anywho, enjoy the rest of your week.

Why me? Why not?

Smoochies

Bad hair day........

Good Morning,

This weekend was just horrible. I haven't had a weekend like this in awhile, so I guess it was time. Let's see, it rained, and rained and rained. That in itself was enough to make my weekend dreary.

I am not one to be in the rain for any reason, but I braved it to go out to dinner with two of my closest friends. I hadn't seen them in awhile and I didn't want to reschedule again. So for friendship, I braved the rain. This is when the bad hair came in. For those of you that know me, I try to keep my DIVA style in check at all times. Never know when a camera is around...lol. I decided to get a new do. I went shopping with my best gal pal and we chose a gorgeous hair piece by the name of "Mariah". She looked more like Sasha Fierce, so that's what I'm calling her.

I went to have my hair done and was told I couldn't because I didn't purchase "Mariah" at that store. I had to purchase a new do, Ms. "Tori". Now Ms. "Tori" is cute, but she looks like concert, party and old DIVA hair. I hated her... at first. I had to wear her out in the rain, which made me hate her even more. I cried to my friends and my daughter. Sent pictures of how she looked and no one understood my pain. They thought she was cute. After a few flat iron tricks, me and Ms. "Tori" became friends. She's not Sasha Fierce, but she will do.

Why me question: Have you ever had a bad hair day??? I don't mean when your hair is not done. I mean when you have an idea in your head of how you want your hair to be and then it turns out completely the opposite and you can't do a thang about it??? That kind of bad hair day. Or when you see a style you like and ask someone if they can duplicate it and they say yes. Then once they are finished, it looks nothing like what you pictured???

Today is a better day!!! I am feeling much better and Ms. Tori is doing her thang, so my co-workers and friends tell me. Thanks Ladies, you always know how to put a smile on my face.

I may have Ms. Tori on for a few more weeks, then Sasha Fierce will make her grand entrance.

Why me?? Why not??

Smoochies

Tell me what you think?

I started writing this blog as therapy from my insane, busy, hectic but mainly joyful life. Now I want to know something. What do you think??? It can be about anything. What are you feeling, thinking, going thru right this very moment??? Tell me, I really want to know.

The news over the past week has reported a lot of news that I just can't seem to wrap my head around, and I am trying to understand or atleast comprehend why people do what they do.

Recently, youtube and facebook have become the sounding boards for a lot of negativity and lashing out of just about everything and anything. Do we no longer keep our business our business. Have you ever heard the saying " What happens in my house, stays in my house" or "What goes on between us, is just between us". Where has the loyalty gone? Is everyone out for self???

What do you think??? As for me, I have learned that if I have something to say, I will say it to your face and I don't need texting, facebook, youtube or second hand information to tell you!!! That's how I roll.

Why me? Why not?

Smoochies

PS. I really didn't have much to say today, but someone just got on my nerves, so this is my ranting blog :0 :0 :)

Men are S__________!!!!!?????

I am sure you can fill in the blank. I had an unfortunate conversation with one male friend this week and it made me so upset, I stated to him that I no longer wanted to be his friend. I have never said that to anyone. That's how I know I was really upset. No need for the details, but basically he was told something about my past that cause me great heartache. In the midst of our conversation, he brought this negative part of my past up....again. I had had enough. I know the mistakes that I have made in the past and don't need a "friend" to keep reminding me of my unfortunate case of bad judgment. So he was dismissed.

I will never understand men, nor do I chose to have that as one of my purposes in life. I take them for what they are. Now don't get me wrong, the s_______ can be a negative as well as a positive, depending on what day it is. I truly believe that men also have monthly cycles. That's the only way I can explain their constant mood changes. Need to get that checked men!!!!

My men are s_______ this week is a negative description. But there is a good side. While working this weekend, I did meet another gentlemen that had great conversation in the first meeting. After I explained that I wasn't interested and my reason, he still wanted to go out for drinks and discuss my "not interested" more. So he gets a positive men are s_____. Not a bad weekend after all. As I always say, when one won't do...move on to #2!!!!...lol...

My why me question? Why can't men take what you say for face value? There really isn't a motive behind what we say men...at least not in my case. Those who know me know I am who I say I am and I stand by everything I say. Trust.

Why me? Why not?

Smoochies

The Choice by Max Lucado

A great Friend sent this to me before the new year...just wanted to share

The Choice

by Max Lucado

IT’S QUIET. It’s early. My coffee is hot. The sky is still black. The world is still asleep. The day is coming.

In a few moments the day will arrive. It will roar down the track with the rising of the sun. The stillness of the dawn will be exchanged for the noise of the day. The calm of solitude will be replaced by the pounding pace of the human race. The refuge of the early morning will be invaded by decisions to be made and deadlines to be met.

For the next twelve hours I will be exposed to the day’s demands. It is now that I must make a choice. Because of Calvary, I’m free to choose. And so I choose.

I choose love . . .

No occasion justifies hatred; no injustice warrants bitterness. I choose love. Today I will love God and what God loves.

I choose joy . . .

I will invite my God to be the God of circumstance. I will refuse the temptation to be cynical . . . the tool of the lazy thinker. I will refuse to see people as anything less than human beings, created by God. I will refuse to see any problem as anything less than an opportunity to see God.

I choose peace . . .

I will live forgiven. I will forgive so that I may live.

I choose patience . . .

I will overlook the inconveniences of the world. Instead of cursing the one who takes my place, I’ll invite him to do so. Rather than complain that the wait is too long, I will thank God for a moment to pray. Instead of clinching my fist at new assignments, I will face them with joy and courage.

I choose kindness . . .

I will be kind to the poor, for they are alone. Kind to the rich, for they are afraid. And kind to the unkind, for such is how God has treated me.

I choose goodness . . .

I will go without a dollar before I take a dishonest one. I will be overlooked before I will boast. I will confess before I will accuse. I choose goodness.

I choose faithfulness . . .

Today I will keep my promises. My debtors will not regret their trust. My associates will not question my word. My wife will not question my love. And my children will never fear that their father will not come home.

I choose gentleness . . .

Nothing is won by force. I choose to be gentle. If I raise my voice may it be only in praise. If I clench my fist, may it be only in prayer. If I make a demand, may it be only of myself.

I choose self-control . . .

I am a spiritual being. After this body is dead, my spirit will soar. I refuse to let what will rot, rule the eternal. I choose self-control. I will be drunk only by joy. I will be impassioned only by my faith. I will be influenced only by God. I will be taught only by Christ. I choose self-control.

What do you choose???

Why me, why not??

Smoochies

Snow day.....

Today is my second day home due to the snow in the Atl. I am taking full advantage of this break. I have been praying for a rest period and I got my prayers answered.

Looking at the snow outside, I know that God has a great sense of humor. Who would ever think that the weather would turn so quick and so fast in Atlanta. The heart of the South.

The kids seem to be enjoying the days off...even though they just got back to school from the Christmas holiday. Oh well, they deserve a break sometimes too.

How are you spending your snow day? Is it with family, friends or just alone with your thoughts.

Take this time to reflect back on what has happened in your life in just these few days of the New Year. As for me, I am so grateful to just see another day. My previous days have been filled with doubts, grief, disappointment and believe it or not a glimmer of joy.

Why me? Why not?

Smoochies

Happy New Year

Today is day 4 of the 2011 year. Other than the year, exactly what has really changed???? I personally have made 3 small resolutions and hopefully I can stick with them. A lot happened in 2010, some good, some bad, some happy, some sad. Through it all, I made it to see another year.

Each year that goes by, I try and reflect on the previous year to see if I have made changes in my life. Each year brings different challenges, obstacles, hopes, dreams and new goals. This year shouldn't be any different.

What are your resolutions??? Are they the same as previous years or do you have a totally new lease on life???? Did you accomplish anything in 2010???

I truly believe that each day the Lord blesses me with, is a day to start over again.

Enjoy 2011, it will never come again. Enjoy today, it will never come again!!!

Why me? Why not?

Smoochies