For the past few weeks, I have endured heartache to a level that I would never expect in my life. I have been so sad and confused, that I cannot seem to get a grip.
This is my why me question? When times hard and you are really down, is there someone that you can truly depend on????????
I thought that when there was no one I could turn to, I could always depend on family. Silly me. The word family in my dictionary means someone that has an unconditional love for you. That will stand by your side no matter what. I was shaken back into reality over the past few weeks, that this definition is mine and mine alone.
When my father died, I was able to reconnect with three of my sisters and one brother. It had been awhile since I saw my baby sister and I had never spoken to my three older siblings. The moment that brought us together was sad, but joyous at the same time.
I grew up knowing about them, through what my father and my aunt and uncle told me. It seems that I was the only child of my father's that knew about the other four...lol. Anywho we now speak on a daily basis, and I enjoy getting to know them.
Now for the disappointment, sadness and heartbreak. I was raised with my four cousins. I considered them to be my older brothers and sisters. During this time of bereavement, I was not able to depend or rely on them to help me through the pain of losing my father. Not only did it hurt, but shocked me to where I still cannot understand their reasoning for abandoning me. I haven't spoken to them, nor do I plan to at this moment. It hurts too much.
Have you ever been disappointed by a family member to where you couldn't understand why??? Have you figured it out yet?? If so, please let me know how you made it through.
I am so fortunate to have other family members and friends that helped me during my bereavement. I will be forever grateful.
As far as the disappointment in family, this is not the first time and I am sure it won't be the last time.
Why me? Why not? We all have our crosses to bear, it would be nice if someone was there to help us carry it.
Smoochies
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Thank you!!!!
I want to take this time to thank everyone for their cards, emails, texts and phone calls to me and my family during the passing of my father. I sincerely appreciate you thinking of us.
Its good to know that someone is always praying for you and keeping you in their thoughts.
The past few weeks have been hard, but I know that he is no longer in pain and he has joined other friends and family members that he's missed so much. His spirit of laughter and gentleness will forever live in my heart and the hearts of everyone that knew him.
Again, thank you!!!
Smoochies
Its good to know that someone is always praying for you and keeping you in their thoughts.
The past few weeks have been hard, but I know that he is no longer in pain and he has joined other friends and family members that he's missed so much. His spirit of laughter and gentleness will forever live in my heart and the hearts of everyone that knew him.
Again, thank you!!!
Smoochies
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
In the midst of heartache....
This Saturday my Father, Jonathan Darden Sr. was laid to rest in New Haven, CT. I was able to be apart of his life for a brief period.
I am saddened and upset about his passing. I have so many questions about death and no one can seem to answer nor comfort me. Everyone is sorry and have prayers and blessings for me and my family. I know that each word spoken is sincere, but I am at the point of no longer wanting to hear it. There is no amount of words that can replace what I have lost. I will be forever be grateful to everyone that have tried there best to provide words of comfort and support.
I also feel so guilty for going through my father's apartment after his passing. I was in charged of cleaning and removing any personal items that the family wanted to keep. I felt like I was violating his space. This wave of guilt still follows me. I smell his scent thru out my home, due to his effects sitting in my bedroom.
Enough of this....starting to cry!!!!
Tell those that are close to you that you love them. Don't wait until they are gone to realize it.
Why me folks??? Why not????
Smoochies
I am saddened and upset about his passing. I have so many questions about death and no one can seem to answer nor comfort me. Everyone is sorry and have prayers and blessings for me and my family. I know that each word spoken is sincere, but I am at the point of no longer wanting to hear it. There is no amount of words that can replace what I have lost. I will be forever be grateful to everyone that have tried there best to provide words of comfort and support.
I also feel so guilty for going through my father's apartment after his passing. I was in charged of cleaning and removing any personal items that the family wanted to keep. I felt like I was violating his space. This wave of guilt still follows me. I smell his scent thru out my home, due to his effects sitting in my bedroom.
Enough of this....starting to cry!!!!
Tell those that are close to you that you love them. Don't wait until they are gone to realize it.
Why me folks??? Why not????
Smoochies
Monday, December 6, 2010
Friends or Acquaintances???
This weekend I visited some of my high school friends for a meeting to discuss our upcoming 25th class reunion. Let's just say the meeting was everything I expected....
It was great seeing faces that I haven't seen since I graduated in 1986 and to get caught up on their lives. I hope and pray everyone will get to come out this summer and celebrate what we have accomplished since our teenage years back in Wagener, SC.
After the meeting I began to think about all the friends I have collected in my 42 years of living and wondered if they were really and truly friends or just acquaintances perpetrating friendship. As we grow older we began to dissect who are really friends and if they truly deserve that title. I hear my children address everyone they know and meet as friends. I continually ask them "Are they really your friends"? How do you determine friendship? Is it the person that lends you money each and every time you ask them, or the person that will tell you really and truly how that outfit makes your butt look???....That's the kind of friend I need and want in my life...a truth teller (thanks Sharon).
Friendship is very important to me. I need someone in my life that loves me for me (my kids & my sisters). I mean every inch of me, inside and out (my kids & my sisters). That can always be honest with me(Zsa, Sharon, Betty, Dee). That keep me near the cross (Penny, Sina, Val). That laughs and cries with me (Dee, Sina, Shae, Penny, Betty, Zsa). That will share a cell with me and post my bond for me (no names necessary, protecting the guilty:). Someone that I know will hold my hand thru it all and when I move on to that Diva Room in the sky will carry my memory to share and write a book about me!!!! Friendship to me is UNCONDITIONAL LOVE!!!
Acquaintances in my opinion are friends in training. They have a period that they need to go through before you can really call them friends. Acquaintances are also friends that have not been really good friends and you keep them around so that they can earn their friendship badges again.
Why me folks question: Which are you? Friend or acquaintance?? Who's your best friend?? Are they really?? Think about it. Call them up and let them know that they are your friend and you wouldn't have it any other way.
Today I say to all my friends and acquaintances, I love you and I hope that I am and will always be a friend to you!!!!
Why me? Why not?
Smoochies
It was great seeing faces that I haven't seen since I graduated in 1986 and to get caught up on their lives. I hope and pray everyone will get to come out this summer and celebrate what we have accomplished since our teenage years back in Wagener, SC.
After the meeting I began to think about all the friends I have collected in my 42 years of living and wondered if they were really and truly friends or just acquaintances perpetrating friendship. As we grow older we began to dissect who are really friends and if they truly deserve that title. I hear my children address everyone they know and meet as friends. I continually ask them "Are they really your friends"? How do you determine friendship? Is it the person that lends you money each and every time you ask them, or the person that will tell you really and truly how that outfit makes your butt look???....That's the kind of friend I need and want in my life...a truth teller (thanks Sharon).
Friendship is very important to me. I need someone in my life that loves me for me (my kids & my sisters). I mean every inch of me, inside and out (my kids & my sisters). That can always be honest with me(Zsa, Sharon, Betty, Dee). That keep me near the cross (Penny, Sina, Val). That laughs and cries with me (Dee, Sina, Shae, Penny, Betty, Zsa). That will share a cell with me and post my bond for me (no names necessary, protecting the guilty:). Someone that I know will hold my hand thru it all and when I move on to that Diva Room in the sky will carry my memory to share and write a book about me!!!! Friendship to me is UNCONDITIONAL LOVE!!!
Acquaintances in my opinion are friends in training. They have a period that they need to go through before you can really call them friends. Acquaintances are also friends that have not been really good friends and you keep them around so that they can earn their friendship badges again.
Why me folks question: Which are you? Friend or acquaintance?? Who's your best friend?? Are they really?? Think about it. Call them up and let them know that they are your friend and you wouldn't have it any other way.
Today I say to all my friends and acquaintances, I love you and I hope that I am and will always be a friend to you!!!!
Why me? Why not?
Smoochies
Monday, November 29, 2010
The Price is Right..
Good Afternoon Everyone,
Last night I was watching the "Real Housewives of Atlanta" with my gurlfriend (I know), and realized if I would ever do a reality show. Would I want cameras following me, my family, my coworkers and my friends, 24 hours a day, just for entertainment of people I don't know????? The question came to my mind: What is my price???
We all have done things and then later looked backed and said " I shouldn't have done that". The RHOA was shot in Atlanta the first part of the year and ended this summer. The cast is not at home watching along with everyone else. Based on what I have seen over the past few months, I know that some are shaking their heads, some have mouths dropped at the antics that are being shown, and I definitely know some of the cast refuses to watch any of the episodes, based on how their lives were portrayed.
There is a local newspaper writer that gives the highlights of the show each Monday morning and you get to blog comments on what you thought about the show. I have never made a comment because I am in such awe of what other's have to say.
I myself don't think that my life is so exciting and edge of the seat intense, that a show would be offered to me. Even though some of my friends think I should have one. So I ask this why me question: What would be the right price for you to sell your soul to television. Come on, don't be shy, admit it or not, we all have a price when it comes to something.
Why me folks? Why not?
Smoochies
Last night I was watching the "Real Housewives of Atlanta" with my gurlfriend (I know), and realized if I would ever do a reality show. Would I want cameras following me, my family, my coworkers and my friends, 24 hours a day, just for entertainment of people I don't know????? The question came to my mind: What is my price???
We all have done things and then later looked backed and said " I shouldn't have done that". The RHOA was shot in Atlanta the first part of the year and ended this summer. The cast is not at home watching along with everyone else. Based on what I have seen over the past few months, I know that some are shaking their heads, some have mouths dropped at the antics that are being shown, and I definitely know some of the cast refuses to watch any of the episodes, based on how their lives were portrayed.
There is a local newspaper writer that gives the highlights of the show each Monday morning and you get to blog comments on what you thought about the show. I have never made a comment because I am in such awe of what other's have to say.
I myself don't think that my life is so exciting and edge of the seat intense, that a show would be offered to me. Even though some of my friends think I should have one. So I ask this why me question: What would be the right price for you to sell your soul to television. Come on, don't be shy, admit it or not, we all have a price when it comes to something.
Why me folks? Why not?
Smoochies
Monday, November 22, 2010
Happy Thanksgiving????
Good Morning,
I was having breakfast with my girlfriend yesterday and she stated to me that she was having a bit of a conflict within her family. She is married and expecting her first child due December. Her family lives about 3 hours away and would like for her to spend Thanksgiving with her. Her husband would rather stay at home and enjoy dinner with just her. She doesn't know what to do.
I have another friend that is still mourning the passing of her mother. She passed last year the day after Thanksgiving. She was going to celebrate with her family, but has decided to forgo the entire holiday weekend. Her sister is not happy with that choice.
Another friend would like for me to come home, my family also, since I haven't been home in awhile. I have offered to make dinner at my home instead.
In each one of these situations, someone is trying to please everyone.... I can truly understand why the holiday season is depressing and also stressful.
It's a time of giving thanks for what we have, where we are, and all that God has blessed us through. When do we forget the thankfulness and began the selfishness????
This holiday season, let's stop with the take, take, take, me, me, me and began to go back to the days when family came together as a sign of love and not of obligation!!!!!
Why me question??? Are you celebrating the season for the right reason??? Let's remember that we don't choose our family, but do choose how we treat them.
Keep those that have no family and those that have no homes in your prayers this season!!!
Happy Thanksgiving to each of you!!!
Why me? Why not?
Smoochies
I was having breakfast with my girlfriend yesterday and she stated to me that she was having a bit of a conflict within her family. She is married and expecting her first child due December. Her family lives about 3 hours away and would like for her to spend Thanksgiving with her. Her husband would rather stay at home and enjoy dinner with just her. She doesn't know what to do.
I have another friend that is still mourning the passing of her mother. She passed last year the day after Thanksgiving. She was going to celebrate with her family, but has decided to forgo the entire holiday weekend. Her sister is not happy with that choice.
Another friend would like for me to come home, my family also, since I haven't been home in awhile. I have offered to make dinner at my home instead.
In each one of these situations, someone is trying to please everyone.... I can truly understand why the holiday season is depressing and also stressful.
It's a time of giving thanks for what we have, where we are, and all that God has blessed us through. When do we forget the thankfulness and began the selfishness????
This holiday season, let's stop with the take, take, take, me, me, me and began to go back to the days when family came together as a sign of love and not of obligation!!!!!
Why me question??? Are you celebrating the season for the right reason??? Let's remember that we don't choose our family, but do choose how we treat them.
Keep those that have no family and those that have no homes in your prayers this season!!!
Happy Thanksgiving to each of you!!!
Why me? Why not?
Smoochies
Monday, November 15, 2010
When is Enough Enough??!!!
Early Nov. 7, 18-year-old Bobby Tillman of Douglasville was beaten and stomped to death after a party. Four suspects have been arrested and charged with Tillman's death. -AJC
Dequavious Stephon Mapp, 18, was one of three teenagers shot after the party about a mile from his home. The Rockdale County High School senior died at Atlanta Medical Center.-AJC
Two young men, like many others their age cut down in life before it even began for them. These two headlines appeared in the AJC (Atlanta Journal Constitution newspaper) this morning, and it began to make me question the safety of my son and am I doing all I need to do to protect him.
I took my son shopping yesterday and spent the day just hanging with him. We had breakfast, watched TV and then I guess our time was over when he asked if he could go to a friends house. Once he left, I began to wonder of all the "bad" things that could happen to him going from our home, down the sidewalk to his friend's home a few houses away. Let's face it, the young men above were only a mile or so from their homes at a party......
I use to didn't worry about my son, why I can't say. His sister was the one I lost sleep over...still do!!!:o, but lately he is constantly on my mind. Whether he's in my sight or not, I keep him uplifted in prayer. I don't know the agony or pain these two mothers (and sooo many more) are feeling, nor do I want that burden placed on me. Death of a child, any child, is horrific and we shouldn't live in a society where now it's common place.
The local law enforcement have been very diligent in their search for suspects, with success. The media is determined to get the word out about how this effects our communities and what we can do to put an end to such senseless violence on the lives of our teenagers. But is this a futile attempt to put a band-aid on a much bigger problem????? What is the real reason behind the actions of our teenagers??? What as parents are we missing???? Why now???
I really want to know!!! I have listened to the media, my friends and family. I have also questioned my own children for their answers and it still puzzles me why we don't cherish the life of others, as well as our own. In the two stories above, not only did we lose two bright young men to death, but we also lose the lives of the alleged suspects to being locked away for a long time. Working in law enforcement, I see men like this that get incarcerated at a young age and whatever hope they had to being someone, is lost. It's not fair to them, nor fair to society. We could have lost the next doctor to find the cure for the common cold, the next civil rights activist that will bring peace among all races, or the next father that is there to lead his children in the right direction.
My son is smart, precious, loving, caring and enjoys chicken nuggets and McCafe Mocha frappes'....he's my everything!!! To have his life taken in vain or have him take a life in vain would literally kill me and I want to be the type of parent to say: ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!!!! I won't let my son or his friends or anyone that surrounds him be a statistic. I won't let him live his life like he has no purpose, no dreams, no future. My son is not being raised with a father in the home and that's ok. I do my best to surround him with positive friends, family and great male role models and mentors.
My why me folks question: As an adult, as a parent, what are you doing to make the young men in your life feel worthy, feel secure, feel hopeful, feel loved??? Take the time to stop, ask questions and above all else listen to them. They do have something to say.
To the families of those that have lost a young man to a violent death, my heart goes out to you!!!!
Why me folks? Why not?
Smoochies
Dequavious Stephon Mapp, 18, was one of three teenagers shot after the party about a mile from his home. The Rockdale County High School senior died at Atlanta Medical Center.-AJC
Two young men, like many others their age cut down in life before it even began for them. These two headlines appeared in the AJC (Atlanta Journal Constitution newspaper) this morning, and it began to make me question the safety of my son and am I doing all I need to do to protect him.
I took my son shopping yesterday and spent the day just hanging with him. We had breakfast, watched TV and then I guess our time was over when he asked if he could go to a friends house. Once he left, I began to wonder of all the "bad" things that could happen to him going from our home, down the sidewalk to his friend's home a few houses away. Let's face it, the young men above were only a mile or so from their homes at a party......
I use to didn't worry about my son, why I can't say. His sister was the one I lost sleep over...still do!!!:o, but lately he is constantly on my mind. Whether he's in my sight or not, I keep him uplifted in prayer. I don't know the agony or pain these two mothers (and sooo many more) are feeling, nor do I want that burden placed on me. Death of a child, any child, is horrific and we shouldn't live in a society where now it's common place.
The local law enforcement have been very diligent in their search for suspects, with success. The media is determined to get the word out about how this effects our communities and what we can do to put an end to such senseless violence on the lives of our teenagers. But is this a futile attempt to put a band-aid on a much bigger problem????? What is the real reason behind the actions of our teenagers??? What as parents are we missing???? Why now???
I really want to know!!! I have listened to the media, my friends and family. I have also questioned my own children for their answers and it still puzzles me why we don't cherish the life of others, as well as our own. In the two stories above, not only did we lose two bright young men to death, but we also lose the lives of the alleged suspects to being locked away for a long time. Working in law enforcement, I see men like this that get incarcerated at a young age and whatever hope they had to being someone, is lost. It's not fair to them, nor fair to society. We could have lost the next doctor to find the cure for the common cold, the next civil rights activist that will bring peace among all races, or the next father that is there to lead his children in the right direction.
My son is smart, precious, loving, caring and enjoys chicken nuggets and McCafe Mocha frappes'....he's my everything!!! To have his life taken in vain or have him take a life in vain would literally kill me and I want to be the type of parent to say: ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!!!! I won't let my son or his friends or anyone that surrounds him be a statistic. I won't let him live his life like he has no purpose, no dreams, no future. My son is not being raised with a father in the home and that's ok. I do my best to surround him with positive friends, family and great male role models and mentors.
My why me folks question: As an adult, as a parent, what are you doing to make the young men in your life feel worthy, feel secure, feel hopeful, feel loved??? Take the time to stop, ask questions and above all else listen to them. They do have something to say.
To the families of those that have lost a young man to a violent death, my heart goes out to you!!!!
Why me folks? Why not?
Smoochies
Friday, November 12, 2010
The American Cancer Society - 2011 Relay For Life of Valdosta State University, GA:
Please help support my daughter Lore'al and a good cause.
The American Cancer Society - 2011 Relay For Life of Valdosta State University, GA:
The American Cancer Society - 2011 Relay For Life of Valdosta State University, GA:
Monday, November 8, 2010
For Colored Girls....Only???
I want to send a huuuggggeeee shout out to Ms. Ntozake Shange and Tyler Perry for the movie "For Colored Girls". I saw this on yesterday with my gurls and loved every minute of the movie. I could relate personally with each women in the film. For those that have not seen it, I won't spoil it for you, just please if you don't see any other movie this year, please please see this one.
I was very surprised on yesterday to see my sisters of the other persuasion along with a few guys (black and white) in the theater. I shouldn't be, because I feel the movie concentrated on "colored" women, but was meant for all women. We all have gone through the issues in this movie. I say this because I know of women in my circle, white, asian and hispanic that have had these "crosses" to bear.
Tyler Perry did an excellent job in this movie of bringing issues that we deal with on a daily, I mean everyday basis. If you see this movie, and cannot relate to what these women went through, you have not truly lived or you are just not being honest with yourself. Each scene touched something in me that I wanted to look away at times but couldn't. I yelled at the screen several times. One of my friends was sooo mad, she walked out. She returned a few minutes later with the biggest popcorn and drink (Coke Zero), candy that the concession stand had...lol.
After returning home from the movie, I watched "Black Girls Rock" on BET. It was very good (for BET). That's another blog at another time. :) This program highlighted not just female celebrities making a difference, but females in the military, entrepreneurs, and even young everyday female teenagers. It showed that there are still black female that care, that motivate, that endure when others say they can't, they push the envelope farther and better than anyone ever thought possible. It was very positive and showcased the great talents that we as black girls have.
Yesterday was an enpowering day for me from beginning to end. "For Colored Girls" showed me that even when faced with nothing but hell on all sides, there is a rainbow in the end. Just have to hold on and continue to look up and forward. "Black Girls Rock", solidified what I already new about my gurls!! We are fierce, determined, dedicated, loving, caring, supportive and can still be a diva through out the process. (Kudos to Kim Whitley for her hair monologue!!!)
My why me folks question? Why am I here, what is my purpose? Am I being a Colored/Black Girl that Rocks? Of course I am!!!! Ask any of my girls that know me. I love life and even through the hell, heartache, heartbreak, trials, tribulations, ups, downs and sideways, I am still here. I will be here long after I find my rainbow, because that's how I was raised. Trials and tribulations come and go....faith in God keeps me going and going and going.
Through it all, have you been to hell and back???? Have you found your rainbow or are you still searching??? You are definitely a _____ girl that rocks!!!!! You have to be if I know you...lol
Why me folks?? Why not???
Smoochies
I was very surprised on yesterday to see my sisters of the other persuasion along with a few guys (black and white) in the theater. I shouldn't be, because I feel the movie concentrated on "colored" women, but was meant for all women. We all have gone through the issues in this movie. I say this because I know of women in my circle, white, asian and hispanic that have had these "crosses" to bear.
Tyler Perry did an excellent job in this movie of bringing issues that we deal with on a daily, I mean everyday basis. If you see this movie, and cannot relate to what these women went through, you have not truly lived or you are just not being honest with yourself. Each scene touched something in me that I wanted to look away at times but couldn't. I yelled at the screen several times. One of my friends was sooo mad, she walked out. She returned a few minutes later with the biggest popcorn and drink (Coke Zero), candy that the concession stand had...lol.
After returning home from the movie, I watched "Black Girls Rock" on BET. It was very good (for BET). That's another blog at another time. :) This program highlighted not just female celebrities making a difference, but females in the military, entrepreneurs, and even young everyday female teenagers. It showed that there are still black female that care, that motivate, that endure when others say they can't, they push the envelope farther and better than anyone ever thought possible. It was very positive and showcased the great talents that we as black girls have.
Yesterday was an enpowering day for me from beginning to end. "For Colored Girls" showed me that even when faced with nothing but hell on all sides, there is a rainbow in the end. Just have to hold on and continue to look up and forward. "Black Girls Rock", solidified what I already new about my gurls!! We are fierce, determined, dedicated, loving, caring, supportive and can still be a diva through out the process. (Kudos to Kim Whitley for her hair monologue!!!)
My why me folks question? Why am I here, what is my purpose? Am I being a Colored/Black Girl that Rocks? Of course I am!!!! Ask any of my girls that know me. I love life and even through the hell, heartache, heartbreak, trials, tribulations, ups, downs and sideways, I am still here. I will be here long after I find my rainbow, because that's how I was raised. Trials and tribulations come and go....faith in God keeps me going and going and going.
Through it all, have you been to hell and back???? Have you found your rainbow or are you still searching??? You are definitely a _____ girl that rocks!!!!! You have to be if I know you...lol
Why me folks?? Why not???
Smoochies
Monday, November 1, 2010
The Power of Voting....
Good Morning Everyone,
I almost forgot to post this morning. My weekend was hectic and this fasting isn't helping. Today is day #9 and I have fallen off the wagon twice. That's okay, we fall down, we get back up. It's in our nature. So I press on. I am beginning to understand why people fast and why it is so effective in our lives. I have known my purpose in life for awhile and with fasting it is becoming clearer on the steps I need to take to fulfill my purpose.
On tomorrow, the nation is asked to go to the polls and vote. It really doesn't matter who you vote for, just vote.... Really??? I have heard this for the past few months from several of my close associates. I truly believe that when we go to the polls, we need to vote responsibly. We need to cast our ballots for the one candidate that will get a majority of what we need accomplished. We are never going to agree when it comes to politics. When we vote with a purpose, it says that we care about what is going on in our society and we do have a voice.
I did early voting to beat the crowds and because it was convenient. This year, I voted with my 19 year old daughter. I was very proud to pass this on to her. I was amazed at how much she did know about the candidates.
My why me folks question: Why me folks, why should I vote??? I vote because someone died for the right and I don't want their death or their cause to be in vain. I vote because my mother did and she was passionate about her right to vote and encouraged all she knew to have a voice. I vote because if I want change to come, it starts with me. If I don't get involved, then I have nothing to say about what happens to me, my family, my community, my nation.
Why do you vote? Why don't you vote?
Why me folks?? Why not??
Smoochies
I almost forgot to post this morning. My weekend was hectic and this fasting isn't helping. Today is day #9 and I have fallen off the wagon twice. That's okay, we fall down, we get back up. It's in our nature. So I press on. I am beginning to understand why people fast and why it is so effective in our lives. I have known my purpose in life for awhile and with fasting it is becoming clearer on the steps I need to take to fulfill my purpose.
On tomorrow, the nation is asked to go to the polls and vote. It really doesn't matter who you vote for, just vote.... Really??? I have heard this for the past few months from several of my close associates. I truly believe that when we go to the polls, we need to vote responsibly. We need to cast our ballots for the one candidate that will get a majority of what we need accomplished. We are never going to agree when it comes to politics. When we vote with a purpose, it says that we care about what is going on in our society and we do have a voice.
I did early voting to beat the crowds and because it was convenient. This year, I voted with my 19 year old daughter. I was very proud to pass this on to her. I was amazed at how much she did know about the candidates.
My why me folks question: Why me folks, why should I vote??? I vote because someone died for the right and I don't want their death or their cause to be in vain. I vote because my mother did and she was passionate about her right to vote and encouraged all she knew to have a voice. I vote because if I want change to come, it starts with me. If I don't get involved, then I have nothing to say about what happens to me, my family, my community, my nation.
Why do you vote? Why don't you vote?
Why me folks?? Why not??
Smoochies
Friday, October 22, 2010
Today is a NEW day......
The dictionary describes fasting as the following:
verb (used without object)
verb (used without object)
1. to abstain from all food.
2. to eat only sparingly or of certain kinds of food, esp. as a religious observance.
–verb (used with object)
3. to cause to abstain entirely from or limit food; put on a fast: to fast a patient for a day before surgery.
–noun
4. an abstinence from food, or a limiting of one's food, esp. when voluntary and as a religious observance; fasting.
5. a day or period of fasting.
On Sunday, I began a 21 day fast for medical, spiritual and personal reasons.
Over the past few months, depression as began to rear it's ugly head again, but this time I am taking control. I have begun to realize that in order to survive and win over this monster that is trying to control me, I must abstain from certain aspects of my life...thus the fast.
I really don't have a full understanding of it, but I am reading and learning more every day. What I do know is that in order to be successful in my journey, I must give up the negativity in my life and concentrate on the positives. I cannot do this with an unclean mind, spirit or body.
In the Bible, Daniel abstained from certain foods and drink which he thought was unclean. Read Daniel 1:8-14. I have read the verses and decided that the Daniel fast is the one for me. It has a meaning and a purpose that I can relate to.
Why me folks? Why do this now?? I had my last day of boot camp on Friday. Within 6 weeks of completing this 2nd bootcamp class, I lost a total of 6 ounces..lol... that's right 6 ounces. I am laughing with you. I realized that this session I wasn't focused, I wasn't determined. Why me folks? Because I just didn't care. There has been so much going on within the past two months, I basically wanted to just crawl into my bed and never leave. I have got to find a better way....thus fasting. I want to have a clearer mind to focus on my daily goals, I want to be energized about life again. I want to be joyous in going to work and being around my friends and family.
My challenge to you today is to step out on faith. Find something that you want to do, something that you have procrastinated about long enough, something that gives you joy, and take a 21 day fast on your journey to accomplish your goal. It doesn't have to be a fast of giving up food and drink, but give up something. Whether it be emailing, texting...which takes away from really connecting to friends and family; always on the go, which takes away from having a quiet moment to yourself; or just negative people or things, which take away from your sanity and a right to be happy!!!
What will your 21 day fast be???
Why me folks? Why not!!!
Smoochies
On Sunday, I began a 21 day fast for medical, spiritual and personal reasons.
Over the past few months, depression as began to rear it's ugly head again, but this time I am taking control. I have begun to realize that in order to survive and win over this monster that is trying to control me, I must abstain from certain aspects of my life...thus the fast.
I really don't have a full understanding of it, but I am reading and learning more every day. What I do know is that in order to be successful in my journey, I must give up the negativity in my life and concentrate on the positives. I cannot do this with an unclean mind, spirit or body.
In the Bible, Daniel abstained from certain foods and drink which he thought was unclean. Read Daniel 1:8-14. I have read the verses and decided that the Daniel fast is the one for me. It has a meaning and a purpose that I can relate to.
Why me folks? Why do this now?? I had my last day of boot camp on Friday. Within 6 weeks of completing this 2nd bootcamp class, I lost a total of 6 ounces..lol... that's right 6 ounces. I am laughing with you. I realized that this session I wasn't focused, I wasn't determined. Why me folks? Because I just didn't care. There has been so much going on within the past two months, I basically wanted to just crawl into my bed and never leave. I have got to find a better way....thus fasting. I want to have a clearer mind to focus on my daily goals, I want to be energized about life again. I want to be joyous in going to work and being around my friends and family.
My challenge to you today is to step out on faith. Find something that you want to do, something that you have procrastinated about long enough, something that gives you joy, and take a 21 day fast on your journey to accomplish your goal. It doesn't have to be a fast of giving up food and drink, but give up something. Whether it be emailing, texting...which takes away from really connecting to friends and family; always on the go, which takes away from having a quiet moment to yourself; or just negative people or things, which take away from your sanity and a right to be happy!!!
What will your 21 day fast be???
Why me folks? Why not!!!
Smoochies
Monday, October 18, 2010
Happy Marriage???
Good Morning,
This blog is dedicated to my friend Sharon. Each morning we speak via email, text or telephone just to say hello and catch up on the events of the day/night before. She inspires me all the time. She is going to get me fired if she doesn't stop sending me emails that make me laugh out loud and telephone conversations that have me crying with laughter.
We love to pose mind blowing, make you think questions to each other on a daily basis. This morning she asked if I knew of any "happy marriages"?? She has asked this question more than once to me. Like always, I ask her to define "happy marriage". Of course we all know this term could have several different definitions. Her definition today was a marriage where people were happy to just be with each other. Happy to touch, talk, and enjoy the company of their mate. Not just in it because they are in it. She heard someone say they had been married for over 25 years, and she posed the question that she had never seen this person touch his wife in public. No hand on the shoulder, no hug or even a loving look her way. I stated that he said they had been married for over 25 years, not they have been "happily married" for 25 years. There is a BIG difference.
I myself have never been married nor have I been asked. I have been in two long term committed relationships that didn't end in marriage. Today I look back at those relationships and realize that at the time I was happy, they weren't. That's when I asked why me folks??? Why didn't the relationships work for me, and did for another woman. (Both men are married now, happy?? don't know). Why was I not the one that ended up as the wife??? I have learned that as time goes by, marriage, happy or not, isn't for everyone. It was their time and not mine.
I love the idea of marriage and all that it encompasses. I love the idea that someone believes that they want to spend the rest of their life as your mate. They see a future with you and love what the future holds for the both of you.
In marriage, you make it what you want and need it to be. The first 10 years of my life, I grew up in a household with two parents that didn't fight or argue in front of me. My mom did what moms do and my dad did what dads did (in my youthful mind). I defined their marriage as happy. I was provided a loving and nurturing environment, getting 3 meals a day, clothes clean, watching tv, playing outside, etc..... so I was happy therefore I thought my parents were happy. As of today, I haven't been told anything different.
Soooooo....my why me folks question today is: If you are married, are you happily married? Do you want to be happily married or just married??? If you are not married, how high is being happy on your list???
Thanks Sharon for today's message.
Why me folks? Why not??
Smoochies
This blog is dedicated to my friend Sharon. Each morning we speak via email, text or telephone just to say hello and catch up on the events of the day/night before. She inspires me all the time. She is going to get me fired if she doesn't stop sending me emails that make me laugh out loud and telephone conversations that have me crying with laughter.
We love to pose mind blowing, make you think questions to each other on a daily basis. This morning she asked if I knew of any "happy marriages"?? She has asked this question more than once to me. Like always, I ask her to define "happy marriage". Of course we all know this term could have several different definitions. Her definition today was a marriage where people were happy to just be with each other. Happy to touch, talk, and enjoy the company of their mate. Not just in it because they are in it. She heard someone say they had been married for over 25 years, and she posed the question that she had never seen this person touch his wife in public. No hand on the shoulder, no hug or even a loving look her way. I stated that he said they had been married for over 25 years, not they have been "happily married" for 25 years. There is a BIG difference.
I myself have never been married nor have I been asked. I have been in two long term committed relationships that didn't end in marriage. Today I look back at those relationships and realize that at the time I was happy, they weren't. That's when I asked why me folks??? Why didn't the relationships work for me, and did for another woman. (Both men are married now, happy?? don't know). Why was I not the one that ended up as the wife??? I have learned that as time goes by, marriage, happy or not, isn't for everyone. It was their time and not mine.
I love the idea of marriage and all that it encompasses. I love the idea that someone believes that they want to spend the rest of their life as your mate. They see a future with you and love what the future holds for the both of you.
In marriage, you make it what you want and need it to be. The first 10 years of my life, I grew up in a household with two parents that didn't fight or argue in front of me. My mom did what moms do and my dad did what dads did (in my youthful mind). I defined their marriage as happy. I was provided a loving and nurturing environment, getting 3 meals a day, clothes clean, watching tv, playing outside, etc..... so I was happy therefore I thought my parents were happy. As of today, I haven't been told anything different.
Soooooo....my why me folks question today is: If you are married, are you happily married? Do you want to be happily married or just married??? If you are not married, how high is being happy on your list???
Thanks Sharon for today's message.
Why me folks? Why not??
Smoochies
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Do You Remember????
Tomorrow is Columbus Day. When I was in elementary school, I learned about Columbus and how he "discovered" America. There were certain facts we had to know, especially the date. In 1492, he sailed the ocean blue, was the phrase I was taught to recall the year of his "discovery".
This weekend I celebrated Columbus Day by doing absolutely nothing!!! I have been running for the past few weeks and decided that since I was off today from work, I would be off today from EVERYTHING!! My Monday 5:00 am boot camp class has been moved to Tuesday....thank you thank you.
Have you ever had that feeling?? The feeling of wanting to be just "off", and don't take advantage of it??? We constantly go, go, go, and when we do get a "day off", we always find something else to do. Why? Have we gotten soooo busy in our daily lives that we have forgotten how to just be off. I normally write my blog on Mondays, but decided that I am really gonna be off, so I am writing on Sunday night. I deserve a day to do absolutely nothing. Actually, I am cleaning my house from top to bottom on tomorrow :), but hey it needs it.
This week I received a picture of myself and my friend Shae from our friend Larry. It was a picture of us in middle school and high school. It was cute but really funny. We haven't been in school in years, but seeing those pictures bought back a flood of memories. I remembered the exact day at A. L. Corbett Middle School when I first met Shae. She looked like someone that didn't take any mess, and she still is not a mess taker...lol. We have been close every since. I am amazed at how me and my classmates have continued to stay in touch. I guess it's because we came from a small community where everyone knew you, and you shared basically the same values. I know several of my current friends that haven't spoken to or seen their classmates since they graduated high school and are wide mouthed when I tell them I speak with my classmates on a daily basis.
Ok my son has entered my room to watch the football game??? I put question marks because I don't watch football and there are 2 more tv's in the home. One is actually in his room...... Why is he in here??? I am reading this to him and he is giving me the tween look.....
Here's my why me folks question: Did you ever think when you graduated high school that you would be where you are today??? Whether good or bad, list an event in your former school days that stands out to you.
I want to take this time to thank all my classmates from Wagener Elementary (now Cyril B. Busbee Elementary), A. L. Corbett Middle School and Wagener-Salley High School. You are the people who made me who I am today. I thank you for your friendship and your love. You are the best. I will talk with you via telephone, email, Facebook and face to face real soon. Thanks Larry and Shae for the pictures and the memories. To those we have lost along the way...rest in eternal peace.
Why me folks? Why am I where I am today?? Why not!!!
Smoochies
This weekend I celebrated Columbus Day by doing absolutely nothing!!! I have been running for the past few weeks and decided that since I was off today from work, I would be off today from EVERYTHING!! My Monday 5:00 am boot camp class has been moved to Tuesday....thank you thank you.
Have you ever had that feeling?? The feeling of wanting to be just "off", and don't take advantage of it??? We constantly go, go, go, and when we do get a "day off", we always find something else to do. Why? Have we gotten soooo busy in our daily lives that we have forgotten how to just be off. I normally write my blog on Mondays, but decided that I am really gonna be off, so I am writing on Sunday night. I deserve a day to do absolutely nothing. Actually, I am cleaning my house from top to bottom on tomorrow :), but hey it needs it.
This week I received a picture of myself and my friend Shae from our friend Larry. It was a picture of us in middle school and high school. It was cute but really funny. We haven't been in school in years, but seeing those pictures bought back a flood of memories. I remembered the exact day at A. L. Corbett Middle School when I first met Shae. She looked like someone that didn't take any mess, and she still is not a mess taker...lol. We have been close every since. I am amazed at how me and my classmates have continued to stay in touch. I guess it's because we came from a small community where everyone knew you, and you shared basically the same values. I know several of my current friends that haven't spoken to or seen their classmates since they graduated high school and are wide mouthed when I tell them I speak with my classmates on a daily basis.
Ok my son has entered my room to watch the football game??? I put question marks because I don't watch football and there are 2 more tv's in the home. One is actually in his room...... Why is he in here??? I am reading this to him and he is giving me the tween look.....
Here's my why me folks question: Did you ever think when you graduated high school that you would be where you are today??? Whether good or bad, list an event in your former school days that stands out to you.
I want to take this time to thank all my classmates from Wagener Elementary (now Cyril B. Busbee Elementary), A. L. Corbett Middle School and Wagener-Salley High School. You are the people who made me who I am today. I thank you for your friendship and your love. You are the best. I will talk with you via telephone, email, Facebook and face to face real soon. Thanks Larry and Shae for the pictures and the memories. To those we have lost along the way...rest in eternal peace.
Why me folks? Why am I where I am today?? Why not!!!
Smoochies
Monday, October 4, 2010
What a weekend!!!
Today is another frantic Monday. I want to just crawl back into bed and remain there forever. Since I can't, let's get this day started.
My weekend was very eventful. Cool weather, great conversations and great sporting events. My son along with his best friend's teams won their football games.
Last weekend, I spoke briefly about what was going on with Bishop Eddie Long of New Birth Baptist Church in Lithonia, Georgia. If you haven't heard, "bing" him and you will definitely get caught up. Anywho, my pastor, Reverend William E. Flippin Sr., spoke briefly last week, but this week, had more to say and a lesson to teach. He spoke from Ephesians 5:15 and his topic was "Walk the walk and Talk the talk". It was so powerful. Bascially, he preached that if you are going to say something, mean what you say and back it up with your actions. How many of us do that on a daily basis??? Really??? Especially when it comes to dealing with people that are close to us. Rev. Flippin and Bishop Long are friends, and you can tell in his facial expressions and his sermon that he has been hurt by the allegations. Not only has he been hurt, but the media attention has hurt the reputation of black ministers and black churches. This is nothing new to the black churches, just been in the dark for so long. Enough about that....moving on.
I wrote on my Facebook page about the 18yr old Rutgers freshman that jumped to his death about his sexual encounter with another male was posted to the internet by his roommate and his friend. This week, there were several vigils in his honor. My heart goes out to his family, friends, and the entire campus of Rutgers University. My heart also goes out to the roommate and his friend. why?? because somewhere in their upbringing or their surroundings, something went terribly wrong and they need prayer. I have never understood why some people take pleasure in doing someone wrong or in someone's misery. It baffles my mind. It also shows me that we as a people have too much unused time on our hands. We have got to be more tolerant in the choices of others. We may not agree, nor understand, but is it really our business??? I say if it causes no hurt, harm or danger to myself or anyone else, let it be.
Last but not least, here's a why me folks question. I was suppose to ask a thought provoking question at the end of my weekly blogs, but forget. Oh well, here goes?
Why do I seem to attract men that truly believe they have it going on, when in actuality they don't? This is just in my opinion. I know what I want and relay this to the opposite sex. When they don't meet my standards, I politely move on. They on the other hand take offense. Why???? Just move on to someone else. It just wasn't for me. I was told in Atlanta there are 10 women for each man....move on to the other nine....please!!!! I would love to have your take on this, women and men
Why me folks??? Why not!!!!
Smoochies
My weekend was very eventful. Cool weather, great conversations and great sporting events. My son along with his best friend's teams won their football games.
Last weekend, I spoke briefly about what was going on with Bishop Eddie Long of New Birth Baptist Church in Lithonia, Georgia. If you haven't heard, "bing" him and you will definitely get caught up. Anywho, my pastor, Reverend William E. Flippin Sr., spoke briefly last week, but this week, had more to say and a lesson to teach. He spoke from Ephesians 5:15 and his topic was "Walk the walk and Talk the talk". It was so powerful. Bascially, he preached that if you are going to say something, mean what you say and back it up with your actions. How many of us do that on a daily basis??? Really??? Especially when it comes to dealing with people that are close to us. Rev. Flippin and Bishop Long are friends, and you can tell in his facial expressions and his sermon that he has been hurt by the allegations. Not only has he been hurt, but the media attention has hurt the reputation of black ministers and black churches. This is nothing new to the black churches, just been in the dark for so long. Enough about that....moving on.
I wrote on my Facebook page about the 18yr old Rutgers freshman that jumped to his death about his sexual encounter with another male was posted to the internet by his roommate and his friend. This week, there were several vigils in his honor. My heart goes out to his family, friends, and the entire campus of Rutgers University. My heart also goes out to the roommate and his friend. why?? because somewhere in their upbringing or their surroundings, something went terribly wrong and they need prayer. I have never understood why some people take pleasure in doing someone wrong or in someone's misery. It baffles my mind. It also shows me that we as a people have too much unused time on our hands. We have got to be more tolerant in the choices of others. We may not agree, nor understand, but is it really our business??? I say if it causes no hurt, harm or danger to myself or anyone else, let it be.
Last but not least, here's a why me folks question. I was suppose to ask a thought provoking question at the end of my weekly blogs, but forget. Oh well, here goes?
Why do I seem to attract men that truly believe they have it going on, when in actuality they don't? This is just in my opinion. I know what I want and relay this to the opposite sex. When they don't meet my standards, I politely move on. They on the other hand take offense. Why???? Just move on to someone else. It just wasn't for me. I was told in Atlanta there are 10 women for each man....move on to the other nine....please!!!! I would love to have your take on this, women and men
Why me folks??? Why not!!!!
Smoochies
Monday, September 27, 2010
Good Morning,
This weekend was restful and rainy. I was going to write about Bishop Eddie Long, but why??? There is enough information out there for everyone to form their opinion about the situation. Moving on.
Yesterday at church (The Greater Piney Grove Baptist), Atlanta. Pastor Walker spoke from Acts 4:1-20. His subject: What if you couldn't call the name of Jesus. That statement in itself is soooo powerful, I am sure several sermons could be developed on this sentence alone. I was moved and it make me really think.
What if I couldn't call the name of Jesus?????????
I grew up in SC in a Baptist Church (Chalk Hill Baptist), Wagener SC. We went to church morning, noon and night. All members of my family were active in the church. From the pulpit to the choirs, music, ushering, deacons, deaconess...etc.... All I new growing up was that Jesus died for my sins, all my sins. In turn, I was to be faithful, honest, true and respectful of the word of the God and the Bible.
Not being able to say the name of Jesus??? Unheard of in my mind. I have a strong faith in God and when the going gets tough, Jesus is all I know to call on. I know we have all hear don't put your trust in Man but Jesus. With all that we go thru on a daily basis, if we couldn't call on the name of Jesus, what would we do. I don't know of any other name to call on. Sickness, financial strain, backstabbing....Jesus is who I call on. Happiness, thankfulness, faith...Jesus is who I call on.
Who do you call on????
Thanks Pastor Walker for that word.
This weekend was restful and rainy. I was going to write about Bishop Eddie Long, but why??? There is enough information out there for everyone to form their opinion about the situation. Moving on.
Yesterday at church (The Greater Piney Grove Baptist), Atlanta. Pastor Walker spoke from Acts 4:1-20. His subject: What if you couldn't call the name of Jesus. That statement in itself is soooo powerful, I am sure several sermons could be developed on this sentence alone. I was moved and it make me really think.
What if I couldn't call the name of Jesus?????????
I grew up in SC in a Baptist Church (Chalk Hill Baptist), Wagener SC. We went to church morning, noon and night. All members of my family were active in the church. From the pulpit to the choirs, music, ushering, deacons, deaconess...etc.... All I new growing up was that Jesus died for my sins, all my sins. In turn, I was to be faithful, honest, true and respectful of the word of the God and the Bible.
Not being able to say the name of Jesus??? Unheard of in my mind. I have a strong faith in God and when the going gets tough, Jesus is all I know to call on. I know we have all hear don't put your trust in Man but Jesus. With all that we go thru on a daily basis, if we couldn't call on the name of Jesus, what would we do. I don't know of any other name to call on. Sickness, financial strain, backstabbing....Jesus is who I call on. Happiness, thankfulness, faith...Jesus is who I call on.
Who do you call on????
Thanks Pastor Walker for that word.
Friday, September 24, 2010
Welcome
Hi Everyone,
Today is the first day of my blog. I was suppose to start on my birthday, but I have been busy....not!!! Just didn't really know what to say. I guess I can start off by giving the meaning behind my blog. I love love love people. They fascinate me. I enjoy meeting new people and discussing everything from the ridiculous to the serious. What better way to voice my opinion and listen to the opinions from others than with a blog...thus my reason.
So, with that being said...here I go. I have noticed over my 42 years of living that alot, I mean alot goes on in my daily life. From waking up to closing my eyes, the world continues to revolve and continues to amaze me. I want to explore my daily surroundings and get your views. My blog will contain rants from time to time and alot of uh-huh moments and hmmmmmmmmm............
My life is hectic, I am a single mother, dating, employed, educated and all around busy person, and this is my therapy. So as you can see, I have alot of topics to talk about.
Feel free to join in and share it all. There is no limit to the discussion. All I ask is that we be respectful of all opinions, ideas, comments and suggestions. We have enough negativity in life that we don't need to add to it.
Enjoy and again welcome one and all!!!!!
Today is the first day of my blog. I was suppose to start on my birthday, but I have been busy....not!!! Just didn't really know what to say. I guess I can start off by giving the meaning behind my blog. I love love love people. They fascinate me. I enjoy meeting new people and discussing everything from the ridiculous to the serious. What better way to voice my opinion and listen to the opinions from others than with a blog...thus my reason.
So, with that being said...here I go. I have noticed over my 42 years of living that alot, I mean alot goes on in my daily life. From waking up to closing my eyes, the world continues to revolve and continues to amaze me. I want to explore my daily surroundings and get your views. My blog will contain rants from time to time and alot of uh-huh moments and hmmmmmmmmm............
My life is hectic, I am a single mother, dating, employed, educated and all around busy person, and this is my therapy. So as you can see, I have alot of topics to talk about.
Feel free to join in and share it all. There is no limit to the discussion. All I ask is that we be respectful of all opinions, ideas, comments and suggestions. We have enough negativity in life that we don't need to add to it.
Enjoy and again welcome one and all!!!!!
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